This time last week (let's pretend it's 7:30pm)

Good afternoon people (or more accurately – PERSON – turns out I’m a lot less interesting than I thought I was)

I went for one of those rare nights out. I do not mean it was rare that I had a night out. Sadly that is FAR from the truth. I mean it was one of those nights that was particularly special. EVERY detail was PERRRRRFECT with a capital PURRRRR. I decided to leave it a week before I wrote about it in case I was just still drunk. Turns out I MIGHT still be drunk but I still have the same amount of rosy excitement in my belly as I did in the days following so I thought it comment-worthy.

I went with an old friend who I had not seen in a little while which was my fault not hers. This girl is one of those rare gems. Engaging conversation. Bedazzling to look at. You never want to be far away from her once you are near but there is a certain forbidden fruit element. Basically, every man’s ideal woman.

We met in Covent Garden. It was a beautiful evening. All was set up nicely. Having been out a fair few times before I requested one thing: that we go to a PUB. She doesn’t like pubs. I do. Aside from that we rarely disagree. The premise to the evening was that I had to do NOTHING. She said she would organise everything. Usually I am loath to accept such invitations because I hate to be let down and I like being in control. She has exceptional taste and style so I was not worried and I was most certainly not let down.

She promised me a few things

1. Fairly lights within a pub

2. A wonderful meal after

3. A cocktails extravaganza

4. Very little walking -her killer heals not mine.

Walking arm in arm we strolled to the pub – name to come… maybe… if I find it – it was a very pubby kind of pub. Not particularly noteworthy aside from some great ‘stuff’ and the hallowed fair lights. It did it’s job very well. So we had a few V&Ts – my current drink of choice - and headed to the restaurant. I knew the name of the place (Circus) but I knew little else about it. I pride myself on being observant. So as I my gorgeous ‘date’ took my arm to walk on, we shuffled 3 steps and she ushered me… NEXT DOOR*. How did I miss it?

Here is some preamble. Good service is one this I am a stickler for. Service maketh the meal or something equally as pretentious. I could eat anywhere be it Raffles in HK or the Highgate Cafe (personally I prefer the Highgate Cafe because the breakfast is untouchable and the fella there gives me a thumbs-up every time I walk passed. He has recently grown a moustache. We talk about that because I have a beard. It’s like a club. I love it). ((I think I over-use parentheses.))

*NEXTDOOR – Circus – it smelled fantastic. I felt from the second I went through the doors that the

service was going to be spot on as well. I was blown away. Sparkles everywhere. Mirror balls and some VERY simple mainly colourless décor with a LONG concrete table with steps going up either end at the forefront of everything. After being seated, comfortable buckets of moulded something, perfect for the bottom-hug that only a good chair can give. They seated us in the front rather than I the back which it turned out to be a venerable gesture. I’ll get this bit over with quickly because I am getting VERY hungry at the though

Cocktails

HIBISCUS MARGARITA

MORELLO CHERRY COSMOPOLITAN

LAVENDER HONEY SOUR – porn for the taste buds. As close to my ideal cocktail as I could ask for.

Start

Spicy Crab cakes – they were crab cakes. Wonderful crab cakes. Nice.

Coconut glazed squid which was greaselessly fried? They were exceptional. The calamari test has taken over from all other benchmarks.

Middle

Spicy Pork belly with a lump of stuffing – WONDERFUL. I’m used to pork melting in my mouth but this took it to a new level. It felt like it had been waterbathed in the sweat of very clean babies and then cracklinised on satan’s grill. I still get a little swoony when I think about it. As a result, I have eaten pork belly twice since only to be slightly disappointed each time which was resulted in me getting a little pork belly.

Seared Tuna and salad – y’know what. There is little to say. Very tasty. Salad did it’s job well.

Mini mac and cheese – exactly that. It was more of a curiosity order rather than a necessity

Zucchini (IT’s A F*CKING COURGETTE) and (squeaky) green beans. I’m still pissed off at it being called Zucchini.

End.

More cocktails

N.B. All the food had a spicy twang to it. I don’t quite know if that’s because spicy = exotic but that’s the way it is.

So this is all well and good and very much like other restaurants. It had food that was presented on a fancier plate than you have at home and delivered by someone prettier and more adept at food delivery than me accompanied by drinks that involved more than 3 ingredients (my classic homegrown cocktail is Jack Daniels, Dark Rum and Coke + a lime. Enjoy). BUT, every 45minutes or so, the lights are lowered - made less bright – and a spotlight appears at the far end (next to the entrance where the concrete table with the steps is and a girl appears in an Alice in Wonderland style dress (on one occasion) and starts to dance, not in a podium dancer way but more performance (and cocktails)… Slowly, erotically removing layers and clothes and more layers and exposing more flesh. WHAM. Semi… Naked. Wonderful. Cabaret. Nipple tassels were involved sometimes spinning together sometimes individually once in opposite directions. Eyes like diner plates? Yes. There was also the use of some ceiling mounted trapeze-style hoops accompanied by more pretty girls and small clothes doing synchronized stuff. The best part was, it was classily done so that all the men enjoyed it and did not feel guilty for looking while the women whooped and hollered. MARVELLOUS. Why isn’t the 507 bus like this?

I shall encapsulate the rest of the night by cloaking it in mystery. There were private members bars, there were less private Mayfair clubs full of those horrible Mayfairies and pretension queuing structures.

Vodka (Grey Goose naturally DAHLING) and Tonic sponsored the rest of the night with a hint of galaxy chocolate, many many smiles, laughs, exquisite conversation and comfortable quiet moments.

Here’s to life being good. Sometimes.