Union Café - A Cafe Marylebone style.

I've noticed that most of my stories - I call them stories because i am not a fan of jargon i.e. 'blogging/blogs' and the like - start with a premise and then I usually perform some form of swift U-turn. I think I do this because I am either playing devil's advocate with myself OR I am trying to sound much more intelligent. Sadly, I think it is a bit of both.

I am trying to watch my figure. I have little expendable income. I have not eaten much recently. Food gets left by the wayside when I need to rationalise my spending. I went out for dinner last night. Now, I don't know if you've been out food shopping while high - you end up buying LOTS of things and most of them have little nutritional content. Imagine

going for dinner with the same foodlust. We were not frugal.

The scene has been set. The mood has been described. The venue: Union Café, Marylebone. I/We have been a few times. The unit. The maternal family unit. We've been there a few times.. This time I was hungrier and I think it was the first time my brother had been.

It's difficult to hyperbolise the experience, not in a bad way, mainly because everything was spot on. It was one of the easiest dining experiences I have had for a little while. I might have used that phrase before as well. Shoot me. (not literally because I reckon that would hurt although I am curious as to what it would feel like.).

I'll try and list what was eaten, and me being me, I sampled everything.

I had a bloody Mary as an appertif. It was on a board saying it was brilliant. It was ok. I have to say it was well proportion but I am not a massive fan anyway so they were fighting a loosing battle really.

Calamari - Good. They were not earth shattering BUT in their defence they were tasty and moorish.

Tuna Tataki - Basically slightly seared Tuna sashimi for anyone who didn't know. It was different. Nothing to write home about. Might have been because I was sampling other bolder flavours though

Fois Gras - Exactly as you would expect. Don't judge me (or my mum ACTUALLY). It was the epitome of richness. Did a job

Wild and not wild mushroom risotto - forgettable. It let the side down. Tasty creamy. Great texture but the flavour did not really exist.

Potted Shrimp - WONDERFUL. My personal highlight. Sounds stupid but the toast it came with was treeeeemendous. I was jealous that i did not order this.

There were four of us, but yes, we did order 5 starters. I was in charge of ordering y'see

I ate:Breaded Veal Escalope with mash and stuff - VERY TASTY. It was the Britsh(ish) version of Scallopa Milanese - that I love more than most of my family

Others ate:

Fillet steak, chips and bearnaise - did exactly what you;d want it to. It was tasty. Meaty. the tarragon - I'm still yet to me able to work out what it tastes like... maybe junior aniseed? - Good.

Calves liver and mash with some other stuff. I did not pay much attention to this mainly because I think liver tastes a bit like metal and I go a bit spazzy with the feeling of metal on my teeth.

In all EVERYTHING was good. The service was faultless. Food and drink was great. Decor was so neutral, it might as well have been magnolia. The clientèle was suited mainly and happy to be there which, given it was Marylebone, said a lot (Michael Palin was there as well!).

You pay for the quality of everything admittedly and the fact it is a no-brainer. It was hard to fault anything really. It was a bit like having a really nice car that never breaks down and but you are left feeling a bit let down by the lack of character. I don;t know. Basically. Enjoy. It's nice.

Here are some people who could be going for a drink in Marylebone in case you wern't sure what that could look like